5 Things I Struggled With During My Career Break

Taking a career break can absolutely be the right decision and still be hard.

Those two things can exist at the same time.

When I stepped away from my HR career to stay home with my son, my husband and I had talked through the decision and agreed it was what made the most sense for our family. But that didn’t mean I felt completely settled about it.

I struggled more than I expected.

If you’re thinking about taking a career break or you’re already in the middle of one and finding it emotionally complicated, here are five things I struggled with that you may relate to as well.

1. Becoming financially dependent

I had worked since I was a teenager and had been financially self-sufficient for decades.

Then suddenly, I wasn’t.

My husband was incredibly supportive and always reminded me that our income was our money, but mentally, that adjustment was still difficult for me. I knew we were a team, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was no longer contributing financially.

Looking back, I wish we had talked about this more before I stepped away.

If you’re considering a career break, have honest conversations about money early. Talk about spending, saving, financial decision-making, and how each of you feels about the shift.

The logistical conversation matters, but so does the emotional one.

2. Losing my sense of purpose

This one surprised me.

Of course raising my son mattered deeply to me. But motherhood did not automatically replace the sense of day-to-day purpose I had gotten from my career.

I had skills I wasn’t using. I had a degree I wasn’t touching. My days were filled with feedings, diapers, laundry, meals, and the endless tasks that come with caring for a young child.

Those things were important, but they didn’t leave me feeling fulfilled.

I felt like I was wasting parts of myself.

Eventually, I realized I needed something outside of parenting that gave me a spark. For me, that became writing. It started with journaling and eventually grew into freelance work.

Your thing may look completely different.

Maybe it’s volunteering, taking a class, helping a neighbor, exercising, creating something, or getting involved in your community. It doesn’t need to become a business or even be productive in the traditional sense.

It just needs to remind you that you are still you.

3. Missing recognition and feedback

Work gives us feedback in obvious and subtle ways.

You finish a project. Someone says thank you. You get a good performance review. You receive a paycheck. You cross something off your list and can clearly see the result of your effort.

Caregiving doesn’t always work that way.

You can spend an entire day working incredibly hard and still end it with a messy house, an unhappy toddler, and no visible proof of everything you accomplished.

That lack of recognition was difficult for me.

I was used to measurable progress. I liked checking things off a list and seeing how my work contributed to something bigger.

Career breaks involve an enormous amount of labor, but much of it is repetitive, invisible, and rarely praised.

Recognizing that helped me understand why I was craving feedback rather than judging myself for needing it.

4. Feeling guilty about how I felt

Then came the guilt.

I felt guilty that staying home didn’t completely fulfill me.

I knew there were women who desperately wanted the opportunity I had, so part of me felt like I had no right to struggle with it.

I also felt guilty for wondering whether my education and professional experience were going to waste. Then I would look at my son and think, Shouldn’t this be enough?

And then I’d feel guilty for even asking the question.

Finding other moms I could talk to honestly made a huge difference. Being able to say the uncomfortable things out loud without feeling judged was incredibly freeing.

Your thoughts and feelings don’t have to be neat or socially acceptable to exist.

You can love your children deeply and miss your career. You can know a career break is the right choice and still struggle with parts of it.

One does not cancel out the other.

5. Worrying about what other people thought

For a long time, when someone asked what I did, I rarely led with the fact that I stayed home with my son.

Instead, I would mention that I was writing, volunteering, or working on a project.

I was afraid people would hear “stay-at-home mom” and think, That’s all you’re doing?

Or worse, that they would think I was wasting my education or talents.

Eventually, I realized something important: other people do not get a vote in your life.

I once met a woman who had taken a 30-year career break while raising four children. Her husband’s coworker had actually asked him when he was going to “make” his wife go back to work.

What?!?!

Your career break is a decision for you and, if applicable, your partner or family. It does not require approval from coworkers, acquaintances, relatives, or random people who think they know what you should be doing.

A career break can be right and still be complicated

There is no rule that says you have to love every minute of your career break for it to have been the right decision.

You may struggle with money, identity, purpose, guilt, outside opinions, or something entirely different.

Talking about those struggles doesn’t make you ungrateful.

It makes the conversation more honest.

And the more openly we talk about the complicated parts of career breaks, the easier it becomes for other people to realize they aren’t the only ones feeling them.

And if you're wondering how to best position your unique, amazing and talented self in your job search book your free discovery call to set yourself up for success as you return back to the paid workforce.