Mental Struggles Of Returning To Work After A Career Break

There are plenty of resources out there on how to write the perfect resume or how to nail an interview.

But there’s one part of returning to work after a career break that doesn’t get nearly enough attention.

The mental part.

When I returned to work after my own career break, I had a lot of thoughts and feelings I wasn’t prepared for.

Doubt.

Fear.

Guilt.

And honestly, I thought I was alone.

Until I started to talking to other women and realized women from all walks of life were struggling with the exact same thoughts.

So let's talk about it!

Why Career Breaks Can Shake Your Identity

Before we talk about the struggles, I want to zoom out for a moment.

From a very young age, society places a huge emphasis on careers.

As kids we're asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

In high school, that question becomes, “What are you going to study?”

In college, it’s all about majors.

And once you’re in the working world, one of the first questions people ask when getting to know you is, “What do you do?”

It’s no wonder our identities become so closely tied to what we do for a paycheck.

But the truth is, your worth, value, and identity are not determined by your employment status.

And it’s something I wish, as a society, we would stop reinforcing.

Until then, know you are so much more than a job title.

Struggle #1: Feeling “Irrelevant”

One of the most common thoughts I hear from women returning to work is some version of this:

“I’ve just been taking care of kids the past 8 years.” OR ”“I don't have any transferable skills.”

If you’ve ever had those thoughts, take a pause and reflect on the skills, experiences and abilities you have BECAUSE of your career break.

If you've cared for children, a spouse, a parent, or even your own mental health, you are doing work and have grown considerably because of that work.

The issue isn’t that your experience isn’t relevant.

It’s the way you’re framing it.

Instead of thinking, “I don’t have transferable skills,” take time to reflect on everything you do on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis.

Managing schedules.

Fundraising for your kid's school.

Problem-solving on the fly.

Those are transferable skills.

And if the phrase “I’m just a stay-at-home mom” ever pops into your head, I want you to remove the word just immediately.

Caregiving is one of the most challenging, rewarding, frustrating, and demanding roles there is.

If you can figure that out without formal training or onboarding, there are very few jobs you can’t learn.

Struggle #2: Impostor Syndrome

Impostor syndrome tends to show up loudly during a job search, especially after a career break.

It sounds like:

“What am I doing here?”

“I’m a fraud.”

“They’re going to figure out I don’t belong.”

And it can show up at every stage.

When you’re applying.

When you’re interviewing.

Even after you land the role.

But here's the thing, studies suggest that 70–80% of people experience impostor syndrome at some point. That means the majority of people around you have felt exactly what you’re feeling.

The difference is what they do with those feelings.

You can either let them defeat you or let them drive you - choose wisely!

Returning to work, trying something new, or pivoting into a different role almost guarantees some level of discomfort. You can’t grow without it.

The goal isn’t to eliminate impostor syndrome. It’s to move forward anyway.

Struggle #3: Guilt

Guilt is a big one.

Sometimes it comes from outside sources like family, friends or society.

And sometimes it comes from within.

If the guilt is coming from others, I want you to remember that you can't control other people’s thoughts or feelings. Simply let them think what they want and move on.

As for the guilt you place on yourself, especially when you have children, I understand it deeply.

Returning to work or pursuing a new venture often means your time is divided differently and it can be a hard adjustment with you wondering if you're doing the right thing.

But what do you want for your child?

I bet you want them to feel fulfilled

To pursue their goals.

To build a life that feels meaningful to them.

Why shouldn’t you want the same for yourself?

It’s not only healthy for you to pursue things outside of caregiving, it’s healthy for your children to see it.

One day, they’ll be adults too. And modeling a full, balanced sense of self matters.

Your sole purpose is not to exist for someone else. And showing up for yourself is not selfish.

Letting Go of What Holds You Back

The mental side of returning to work isn’t talked about nearly enough, but it’s something so many women struggle with.

And the more we talk about it, the less scary it becomes.

My hope for you is that you surround yourself with women who support you, encourage you, and understand this season of life. Use them as a sounding board.

And when you succeed in your job search, which I truly believe you will, I challenge you to turn around and be that support for someone else.

Remember, you're not alone in this. And if you ever feel like you are, send me an email - I'd love to hear from you!